Tuesday, March 8, 2011

big bellies

Apparently I'm the only one out of the majority of my friends not getting pregnant and or having babies. I don't know if it's because I was awake in health class where they tell you that when you don't practise safe sex, you CAN, and probably will get pregnant. I completely understand if you're in a good relationship and able to care for this baby you're about to bring into this world, and are actually planning on having a family...then all the power to ya.
Way back in grade 10/11 a good friend of mine actually got pregnant at the age of 15. She wasn't in a stable home because she was bouncing back and forth between mom and dad where they had rocky relationships. Her "boyfriend" at the time was also in a horrible relationship with his family and they were in no good situation to be having a baby. WELL they thought other wise. And in the end she gave birth to a little boy named Blake. The sad ending to this story was that her dad had kicked her out when he found out she was pregnant, and her mom would only allow her to live with her if she DIDN'T keep the baby. Just a couple hours after giving birth she was forced to hand over her baby to put up for adoption. That was just over four years ago. Her and I had lost touch but it turns out that she kept in touch with my friend Courtney. I just found out the other day is that she actually just gave birth to her second baby. She's only 19!?! I bet it's a lot better than being 15, but I hope for her sake that she's in a better place then she was four years ago.
This now brings me to my other good friend, Margaret (Margo). Just over two years ago in high school she gave birth to a baby girl named Emma. Margo was only 18 and had just graduated high school just five months prior. She had only been dating her boyfriend at the time for a month before she got pregnant. She moved her from New Brunswick two years before this with her best friend's family. She had no family of her own out here, so she had no one else to rely on but them, her Calgary "family" and her boyfriend at the time. Well after the baby was born they moved out, and things got rocky. He found someone else so she moved in with her "family." Ever since she's been the main guardian for Emma, the father barley makes time to see her or take care of her.
Everywhere I turned in school I always heard about someone having sex at some party and being pregnant. Kids in my school would actually pretend they were pregnant to get attention. Other's actually were pregnant and had the choice to lie about it and stay in school, or tell a teacher and be kicked out. The high school I went to actually kicked out pregnant teenagers. I'm not exactly sure why, and if it was a good or bad thing. The scary part was the amount of young girls actually wanting to have babies at so young...or just had the bad luck happen to them. (They must be the ones who fell asleep in health class =/  ) You'd think after seeing all these young ones getting pregnant and witnessing your friends going through what they went through that you would learn and be smart about having sex....WRONG.
My sister's good friend, and an old friend of mine has been in a nasty relationship with this man for quite some time now. He abuses her mentally, emotional and physically. They have gone their separate way numerous amounts of times, but yet always end up back with each other. Well this time it turns out she's pregnant. She's 20, but it's still young and not in the best situation. She's almost due and you can tell that she's confused and upset on what to do. She's not the least bit of stable-ness to be having a child but there's not a whole lot anyone could do. We've tried telling her that she shouldn't be with him, but she never listens. Fingers crossed this will some how turn out good. *fingers crossed*

SO, speaking of pregnancies and my friend Courtney, it turns out she's pregnant herself. Now this is a bit more tricky. She's 19, she can hardly keep a part time job, her boyfriend can't really keep a job himself, he lives at home, and she lives with her mom and step dad. Oh, did I forget to mention that her family are Jehovah witnesses? YUPP, you heard me correctly. She has the worst relationship with her parents because of bad situations in the past because of her miss-happenings. They highly believe in their religion and wouldn't take her being pregnant very well. She only found out yesterday that she was pregnant and already her boyfriend is telling her to have an abortion. Courtney doesn't believe in having them so she's conflicted about what to do. She believes that she'd get kicked out, and that her and her boyfriend can't take care of a kid. Problem is her boyfriend believes that is she doesn't have an abortion that she's NOT putting the baby up for adoption. In the end it's her decision...but it's going to be very hard. (You'd just think that after seeing what our friend Margo went through that she's be a bit more smart about sex...but like a lot of other things, I'm wrong.)
On a side note I think it's extremely brave and amazing what young mothers are capable of doing. I say this not only because of how far along my friend Margo has come and how beautiful her little girl is, but also because of the fact that my mother became a teen mom at the age of 16 herself. She was living in the states at the time, and she happened to make a wrong turn in life, in the end I'm proud of my mother and happy because if it wasn't for that desicion then I wouldn't have my oldest sister Angela, and my mother probably wouldn't have met my dad, then my other sister and I wouldn't be here today! My mother is the most amazing, inspiring, greatest women I have, and will ever meet. I love her more than anything and I will always continue to look up to her.
I promise all of whoever is reading this right now that I will not be having kids anytime soon. And if I do I'll make sure that I'm stable and in a good situation to do so.

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